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Handshakes for control

Lecture



The purpose of the handshake with both hands is to demonstrate the sincerity and depth of feelings towards the interlocutor, as well as to inspire confidence. Here we must note two important aspects. First, the left hand is used to express the depth of feelings of the initiator of a handshake in relation to the interlocutor, therefore the place where the left hand of the initiator is on the interlocutor’s right hand plays a very important role. A handshake with both hands resembles a hug, and the initiator’s left hand is a kind of proximity “thermometer”. The higher on the interlocutor's hand it is located, the greater the proximity the initiator wants to demonstrate. The initiator tries to demonstrate his closeness and at the same time to establish full control over the interlocutor.
  Handshakes for control
Shrug wrist
  Handshakes for control
Shaking elbow
  Handshakes for control
Shaking forearm
  Handshakes for control
Shrug
For example, shaking an elbow demonstrates greater intimacy and control than a shrug of the wrist, and a shrug of the shoulder is a gesture more intimate and dominant than a shake of the forearm.
Secondly, the left hand of the initiator invades the interlocutor's personal space. In general, it can be said that shaking the wrist and elbow is acceptable only if there are truly close relations between the interlocutors. In such cases, the left hand of the initiator affects only the very limit of the interlocutor’s personal space. Shoulders and forearms show true closeness and can go into a hug (for more information about personal space, see the menu on the left). If the feeling of closeness is not mutual, and if the initiator does not have valid reasons for such a handshake, the interlocutor will feel suspicions and may misinterpret the intentions of the initiator of the handshake. Summarizing all the above, we can say that if your relationship with the interlocutor is not too close and trusting, you should not resort to a handshake with both hands. If your hand in this way will be shaken by an unfamiliar and not close to you person, you can be sure that he has some hidden motives.

If there is no close emotional connection between you and your interlocutor, shake his hand with only one hand.
Politicians often greet voters by shaking their hands with both hands. Businessmen behave in the same way. Neither of them understand that such a gesture is tantamount to business and political suicide, because it gives people suspicion and distrust.
created: 2014-09-28
updated: 2021-03-13
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Body language

Terms: Body language