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Family relationship

Lecture



Take a close look at how the family is placed at the table. Who ranks first and where? My friend, a psychologist, conducting a study of accommodation at the table, analyzed how the family of five is based on family relationships.
“In this family,” my friend explained, “the father sits at the head of the table, and he is the dominant member of the family. His wife does not compete with him for leadership and sits beside him to his right. The rationale lies in the fact that the proximity between them is genuine enough to survive at the table, and at the same time they are located close to the children.
The location of the children is also interesting. The oldest girl, who subconsciously fights with her mother for her father’s love, sits on his left, in coordination with her mother’s position.
The youngest is interested in the mother, for a boy this is a normal situation, he is sitting to her right at some distance from his father. The middle child, a girl, sits to the left of her sister. At her table, as in the family, the dual position. "
In this subconsciously established location, it is interesting that all family members are arranged in accordance with intra-family relationships. The selection of the position begins with the selection of the table. And at the oblong table, the competition for dominance is possible to a greater degree than at the round one.
In understanding the structure of the family, it is important to dismiss the location of the husband and wife. Husband and wife on opposite sides of a long table usually clash over the dominant position in the family, even if this conflict exists only on a subconscious level.
If a husband and wife sit diagonally apart, this is evidence that they feel safe in terms of their role in marriage and in one way or another have solved the question of primacy. Who sits at the head?
Of course, if the table is small and they sit face to face, then for intimacy this may be the most convenient.
Table positions can be the first key to understanding family relationships.
The other is seen in the rigidity or freedom of the inner order of the home life. My friend, a photographer, was recently instructed to take pictures of a candidate for mayor of a large city in the Midwest in an informal setting. He spent the whole day in the family and left the place, mumbling curses.
“Perhaps I managed to take just one decent shot,” he told me. “I asked him to call his dog, and he only relaxed once.”
I asked to explain everything in more detail, and my friend said: “This house is one of the places with strict rules, the toughest of the ones I have ever met. Plastic caps on the lamp shades, everything is in place, everything is perfect - his damn wife followed me on the heels, picking up lamps from the flashes and collecting ashes from my cigarettes on the tray. How was it possible to take a picture of a person on vacation? ”
I understand what he had in mind, because I saw many similar houses, houses in which “closed” families live. Everything related to the family is closed and firmly. Even the postures they take are strict and straight. In these neat formal homes everything is always in place.
Usually we are sure that the family lives in such a house less spontaneously, more intensely, and it is less likely that it has liberal views, that they have unusual ideas, and most likely they in all are trying to meet the standards of society.
created: 2015-12-25
updated: 2021-04-27
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Family Psychology

Terms: Family Psychology