Sexual isolation

Issues involving sex, especially sexual isolation, are one of the many reasons people call. Although such calls, if taken as a whole, may not be among the most frequent, they still represent a significant percentage of calls made by men and especially young people. In this regard, "young" means those who are less than twenty-five years old, including teenagers (boys and girls aged 13 to 19 years), especially when they are about fifteen years old.

Listening to sexual conversations causes its own specific difficulties, especially when young people participate in them. Most consultants are over the age of twenty-five, so they often act instead of parents — which causes some confusion if we intend to avoid any kind of subordinate communication with the caller.
Many so-called young sexual calls are indicative of anxiety or even anxiety about sexual problems. Some such calls express fear in the face of the desire or demand for sexual intercourse on the part of partners - boys or girls. They talk about their shyness in such matters and about the obstacles that stand in the way of their desires.
Sometimes fear arises from the fear of not being able to find a partner with whom they would like to have sexual intercourse. Then, for girls, there is a fear of pregnancy - caused either by their excessive imagination, or delayed menstruation.
A love or sexual experience sometimes evokes a sense of guilt, which can either be openly expressed on the telephone, or hidden behind the presentation of other misgivings. In such cases, when fears are expressed explicitly in order to justify, the caller himself should critically consider possible solutions.
Anxiety and anxiety associated with sex are sometimes also manifested in requests for information such as: “Is it dangerous to have sexual intercourse during menstruation?”, “What should I do to get acquainted with a girl?” Or “Can you give me address of a good gynecologist? ".
It is possible to miss what is behind such questions, giving only direct answers. Obviously, the importance and urgency of such questions for the caller cannot be underestimated, and it is not enough to give only a simple answer. Without engaging in sex education, it is important that young people can say what is behind these issues and how they arose. If the counselor acts like this, he will hear very different things from the caller — anxiety regarding the discovery and development of his or her sexuality.
More often, callers refer to sentimental ties that they have or would like to have: “It was love at first sight” or “I love, but only my parents do not understand.” Perhaps in this latter case, a complaint appears on the assessment of a friend or girlfriend by one of the parents.
The main thing here is to avoid the position of a mostly consoling one. It is so easy to be unceremonious and consider the alarm of minor importance. After all, it is necessary to allow this alarm to come out, no matter how deep it is hidden. A teenager is seriously engaged in solving the problem of his sexuality, despite all the external and internal factors that must be fought against - and he must be responsible for the consequences associated with this. There is no one who can do it for him.
But the best help is to listen carefully. Without reading the notations, the consultant, nevertheless, is in a position that allows to make some hints - not in the “do and not do” form, which is absolutely useless, but only referring to simple real-life matters. It is the need to take into account the other person and his desires, the need to avoid evading the needs of the flesh in relevant matters and the primary importance of feeling where the other person is as respected as he or she is.