Forgive treason

Another quite common situation of psychological disorders in the sexual sphere is connected with the love affair of one spouse, often already completed (since the arrival in consultation and the desire to solve the problem is evidence of the spouses' desire to live together, trying to forget or forgive betrayal).
Often, the new sexual experience of one of the partners entails significant changes in her / his requirements for sexual relations. Especially often this happens when sexual relations in a marriage did not bring partners special satisfaction and did not play any special role in the relationship.
In such a situation, the lover (or lover) is often perceived or turns out to be more experienced, sexually more active and, as it were, reveals to the “guilty of treason” to the spouse “previously unknown possibilities of sexual relations”. And now, at the end of the love affair, he (she) would like to carry out a sexual revolution, to make patterns of sexual behavior and marriage more sensual and diverse.
Most often, in the practice of counseling, there is a situation where the wife / husband knows all about the betrayal that has occurred and that the partner’s sexual relations with another were more satisfying and attractive.

Usually, he / she is seriously worried about this, considering himself to be good for nothing, not attractive, sexually weak, etc. But it can be otherwise, when the other is unaware of the spouse's connection and for him the “sexual claims” of the latter look like something unexpected, although he / she may also be seriously concerned, considering that dissatisfaction with the sexual relationship of the spouse has certain grounds. In the latter case, the psychologist can “accidentally” find out about the “other” relationship, remaining one on one at the request of her spouse.

First of all, looking ahead, it is necessary to emphasize that, apart from sexual problems, with adultery, various marital or personal conflicts that serve as the main cause of adultery are usually of great importance, and this aspect of the situation, if necessary, should be analyzed in detail during the counseling process. So, it is possible that the greater attractiveness of sexual relations with another person is connected, for example, with greater ease and confidence in relations with him.