Lecture
Это окончание невероятной информации про оперативная психология.
...
must not abuse the listener's attention or bore them with wordiness), sharpness, humor, and irony (humor and wit stir and enliven any speech, and are especially important when the most important and difficult part has already been said). At the same time, one must watch the appropriateness of humor and irony ("laughter is a measure, an indicator of intellectual development. People who laugh foolishly are never witty. Laughter is the physiology of the mind" — the Goncourt brothers).
Colloquial speech is successfully used in the spheres of informal relations, not only in everyday life but also in professional activity, and essentially performs the function of communication. It most often appears in the form of dialogue, in which the partners usually participate spontaneously, without prior thought about what is being said. Colloquial speech promotes self-expression and the display of individual personality traits, and is therefore emotionally colored. Unlike official business speech, colloquial speech makes practically no use of bookish vocabulary, scientific or foreign terminology, but widely features everyday vocabulary: colloquialisms, words of subjective evaluation, everyday phraseology. Nonverbal means of communication play a large role here, as does the use of imperative, interrogative, and exclamatory sentences. Such speech is specific and must therefore be situationally appropriate.
Speech is based on the operation of the mechanism of association and on the ability of the human intellect to retrieve past information in relation to what is being perceived at a given moment in time. The effect of comparison is achieved by the partners creating a shared informational field of business interaction, which promotes active participation in the communication and understanding of the partner. In business communication speech, emotional triggers ("rhetorical devices") are often used, which evoke in the partner certain emotions, sensations, and experiences. In business communication it is important to evoke in the interlocutor precisely those emotions needed to achieve the intended goals and intentions. The main indicator in this case is the energy of the speech, its expressiveness and tonality. I. Ilyinsky noted that: the intonations of the human voice are especially colorful, varied, deep, and heartfelt when they are spoken in a natural, rather than a forced, voice, and when they are spoken that way, they penetrate deeply into the listener's soul, carrying the needed thought. By intonations are meant all the sound-related means of language that are connected with the voice and do not require concentrating attention on the content of the speech.
The main characteristics of the human voice are:
rate of speech (a fast pace of speech indicates the interlocutor's impulsiveness and self-confidence; a calm manner of communication points to prudence, thoroughness, and equanimity; noticeable fluctuations in the pace of speech reflect uncertainty, a lack of composure, and mild excitability in the communication partner);
volume (increased loudness of speech indicates either genuine strength of motivation or vanity and self-satisfaction; low volume indicates modesty, tact, restraint, and weakness in the speaker; sharp changes in the volume of speech reflect the partner's emotional arousal);
pitch of voice (a chest voice reflects heightened emotionality of thought and speech; a falsetto is often characteristic of a person whose thinking and speech proceed more from the intellect; a high, piercing voice is a sign of agitation and fear, while a low tone of voice reflects dignity, relaxation, and calm);
articulation (clear and distinct pronunciation of words indicates inner self-discipline and a lack of liveliness in communication; unclear, blurred pronunciation reflects the partner's insecurity, softness, and compliance);
mode of speech (a rhythmic, even flow of words with slight periodic fluctuations reflects richness of feeling, equanimity, and a good mood; correct, strictly cyclical presentation indicates strong emotion, willful tension, discipline, and pedantry in the speaker; a sluggish manner of speech indicates an emotionally rich life for the partner, while an angular, abrupt manner of speaking indicates sober, purposeful thinking).
One can successfully convey one's thoughts and build a sequence of inferences to justify necessary conclusions with the help of correctly posed questions. The German philosopher Kant noted that: the ability to pose questions is already an important and necessary sign of intelligence or perceptiveness. If a question is meaningless in itself and demands useless answers, then, besides embarrassment for the questioner, it sometimes has the further drawback of prompting an unwary listener toward absurd answers, creating a ridiculous spectacle: one (as the ancients put it) milks a billy-goat while the other holds a sieve underneath. A question is one of the logical forms which includes initial information, as well as indications of its insufficiency and the need for further supplementation and expansion. The use of interrogative statements makes it possible to steer the conversation in the needed direction. The significance of questions in business communication lies in the fact that:
they are a convenient form of prompting the partner toward active interaction;
they are a way of attracting the partner's attention;
with their help one can steer the partner toward the needed answer, for example, one requiring agreement;
the answer to a question reflects the partner's attitude toward the topic of communication;
a correctly formulated question makes it possible to correct an error in argumentation or behavior;
questions help create an atmosphere of trust in the communication.
In the course of business communication, partners may use various types of questions:
informational — for gathering necessary data;
control — to check whether the partner is following the essence of the dialogue;
orienting — to see whether the partner is sticking to a previously expressed opinion;
confirming — to achieve mutual understanding and approval;
familiarizing — for understanding the partner's goals and opinions;
single-pole — repeating the partner's question as a sign that you have understood what is being discussed, and so that they understand this too, as well as to gain time to think over the information;
counter-questions — when correctly posed, they narrow the conversation and lead the partner toward agreement;
alternative — offering a choice;
redirecting — for bringing the partner back to the topic of conversation when there are deviations from the essence of the dialogue;
provocative — aimed at establishing the partner's true intentions and their understanding of the situation;
introductory — allowing you to interest the partner in the dialogue;
concluding — for summing up the business communication.
Answers to the partner's questions should demonstrate knowledge of the problem being discussed. Therefore, when entering into business communication, one must be prepared for possible questions and anticipate their content in advance. Questions can be closed (leading questions that can be answered briefly — "yes" or "no") and open (used when resolving a problem or making a decision, requiring a detailed answer with extensive information: "What is the cause of the current problematic situation?", "What allowed you to draw such a conclusion?", etc.) The following recommendations can be used when answering questions:
1) Before answering a question, pause for at least 8 seconds;
2) if the question turns out to be complex, consisting of several simple ones, first break it down into its components, and then determine which one should be answered first (it is quite possible that the partner is interested in something other than what is contained in the question);
3) if an open-ended question is asked, one should clarify what specific information is of interest to the partner (this allows time to think over the answer, avoid saying too much, and more accurately predict the partner's expectations);
4) when faced with an unforeseen question, do not try to give an answer without sufficient information, but ask permission to note the question down in order to answer it after some time (in a tense setting, one need not answer an unexpected question in detail, but can limit oneself to a brief and energetic reply);
5) to a provocative question that draws away from the topic of conversation, one should give a brief answer that brings the partner back to the previous dialogue;
6) if you are misunderstood in your answer, try to immediately acknowledge your fault in having phrased your thought poorly, and restate your opinion.
For inappropriate questions — for example, those intruding on trade secrets, touching on the intimate sphere of your life, or insulting your personal dignity — it is advisable either not to answer at all, or to use techniques for evading the answer:
answering a question with a question;
redirecting the question to a more competent person;
ignoring it, as if there had been no question at all,
turning the conversation to another topic;
demonstrating complete incomprehension;
citing an urgent matter (the need for an immediate meeting with someone, a phone call, etc.);
a negative assessment of the question itself ("What a naive question?", "This question sounds indecent");
using humor or irony ("And you consider this serious?", "You're asking such a difficult question that I really can't answer it").
In business communication, words and gestures can be decoded by the partner in different ways. Agitated speech, a jumble of words, and giving too much free rein to one's feelings can distort the meaning of statements to such an extent that even the speaker themselves stops understanding the meaning of what was said. The fear of being misunderstood, of appearing uninformed, of encountering disapproval or condemnation, makes the partner pile up words, concealing their true motives. Partners, as a rule, speak about what matters most only when they are confident that the answer poses no threat to them, and that there is a genuine effort to understand them. Dependence on group norms of behavior, the level of emotional culture, attitudes, past experience, interests, expectations, etc., also affect the uniformity of understanding of information. To ensure understanding, the partner must constantly signal to the speaker exactly what has been accurately perceived and what has been distorted. This makes it possible to correct the message and make it clearer. Such an exchange of direct and feedback signals constitutes the process of active listening.
The effectiveness of psychological contact with a partner in business communication is largely determined by the ability to listen to the interlocutor. Listening is a one-sided process in which one interlocutor conveys information while the other receives it without interrupting. At the same time, listening should be viewed as a process in the course of which a psychological connection is established between the partners, and a sense of mutual understanding and involvement arises. The following main forms of listening are distinguished:
information gathering (neutral);
defensive — a skeptical attitude toward the interlocutor;
offensive — an effort to catch the interlocutor in negative intentions;
polite — pauses between one's own statements;
selective — hearing only what one wants to hear;
active — an understanding interlocutor who is receptive to communication;
passive — the ability to show the interlocutor that you are listening to them, understand them, and are ready to support them, without interfering with their monologue;
empathic — reflects empathy for the interlocutor and understanding of their emotional state.
In terms of importance in business communication, listening comes first, taking up as much as 45% of the time spent in interpersonal communication. In active listening, the reflection of information and its constant clarification through additional questions comes to the fore: "Did you really attend this meeting?", using paraphrases: "It seems that you intend to..." or "In other words, you meant...". Such communication techniques make it possible to achieve two goals at once:
ensuring adequate feedback and convincing the interlocutor that their information has been correctly received;
letting the interlocutor know that they are being listened to by an equal partner ready to take responsibility for the information being discussed.
Active listening skills are indispensable in business negotiations, when the communication partner is equal to or stronger than the interlocutor, as well as in conflict situations involving aggressive behavior from the interlocutor. The technique of active listening includes such methods as:
encouragement (nodding, murmuring agreement);
clarification (rephrasing, specifying);
re-asking (parrot-like retelling);
reflection (addressing feelings);
summarizing (intermediate clarification).
Active listening techniques do not work if one of the interlocutors is in a state of strong emotional arousal and is not controlling their emotions. In such a case, passive listening techniques are effective. The communication partner's emotional arousal rises and falls according to a sinusoidal pattern and, if there are no additional stimuli, gradually fades and the person calms down. In such a case, stimuli can include the communication partner's silence, clarifying questions, and soothing reassurances. The best influence on an emotionally aroused partner is so-called "uh-huh reactions" such as "yes, yes, uh-huh, uh-huh, well of course," and so on. The most important thing in such communication is the danger of falling into the interlocutor's emotional state, which, as a rule, leads to a heated conflict and a settling of accounts.
Empathic listening, as a reflection of the communication partner's emotional state, does not allow for advice, criticism, or lecturing the interlocutor. This listening method is applicable only when the interlocutor, without being pressured by the partner, wants on their own to share their experiences. It should be kept in mind that empathic listening is not an interpretation of the hidden motives of behavior concealed from the interlocutor. One should only reflect the partner's feelings, without explaining to them the reasons these feelings arose. Phrases like "Actually you're like this because you're the youngest child in the family" or "You most likely misunderstood him" can provoke a return of aggression, withdrawal, and coldness.
In the process of listening during business communication, so-called "sabotage messages" can arise, which disrupt psychological contact and the procedure of a business conversation:
threats (evoke fear, submission, resentment, hostility): "If you cannot refrain from personal phone conversations during working hours, we will consider your dismissal";
orders (when resorting to power over others): "There's nothing to discuss here, go and do it";
criticism (negative): "You lack diligence in your work";
insulting nicknames: "I've never met such an idiot before";
"should" words: "You should look the facts in the face," "You shouldn't be offended by me";
concealing important information (a trap remark): "You will definitely like our proposal" — without explaining the essence of the proposal;
interrogation: "What were you doing during work hours?";
praise with a catch: "The children love you so much. Won't you watch my son while I go to the theater?";
diagnosing motives of behavior: "There must have clearly been mentally ill people in your family";
untimely advice: "You should have slowed down on the turn";
persuasion by logic: "Why are you so outraged, it's logical given how careless you are";
refusal to discuss: "I'm not interested in your reasoning, everything is already clear";
changing the subject: "Everything you're saying is very interesting... Look, what a funny little dog";
competing: "Yesterday I got an interesting offer... — Is that so, last week I got a call from...".
For successful business communication, D. Carnegie recommended seven principles for dealing with a partner:
smile — this is the best way to make a good first impression;
remember the first and last name of the communication partner;
show genuine interest in other people;
hold conversations among interesting interlocutors;
be a good listener, encourage others to tell you about themselves;
acknowledge the value and significance of the other person;
when criticizing, remember the person's dignity.
Часть 1 The "Operational Psychology" Toolkit
Часть 2 - The "Operational Psychology" Toolkit
Comments