Getting Acquainted and Clarifying the Client's Request

Building effective interaction always begins with a mutual greeting and the introduction of the partners to one another. The initial information, both verbal and nonverbal, exchanged by the partners at the start of their communication will largely set the degree of trust in the relationship, which is one of the main conditions for actualizing the internal resources of the person seeking help.

Trusting communication is fostered by an initial greeting with a glance, a confident and friendly tone of voice, and a well-organized physical space for communication.

The optimal positioning of the counselor and client relative to each other is one in which they do not sit directly facing one another, but slightly at an angle, so that each of them can easily see the other's face, yet, if they wish, can also look away without much difficulty. A position directly facing each other does not allow for this and contributes to the emergence of psychophysical tension between the partners. The most optimal distance between the partners is 50-120 cm. It is better if they have enough leg room to freely stand up or sit down in their place. Near them there may be something like a coffee table where something can be placed or, if necessary, notes can be taken. A side placement of the table is more convenient, as in this case it cannot serve as a barrier separating those conversing from each other.

The success of the conversation depends on how well the psychologist manages, from the very first minutes, to show themselves as a friendly and interested interlocutor. The first thing the counselor must do when meeting the client is to greet them and help them get settled comfortably. It is better if the counselor encourages the client from the very start with phrases such as: “Please, come in”, “Make yourself comfortable”, and so on. At the same time, one should not fuss too much or be overly ingratiating with the client.

It is good if the client introduces themselves first. In this case, they themselves set the tone for the interaction. It is better if the psychologist introduces themselves in the same manner as the client — by first name and patronymic, simply by first name, etc. Although the factor of age and the specific conditions of the counseling may also matter for choosing the form of introduction. If the client does not introduce themselves first, the counselor can suggest getting acquainted, for example: “Let's get acquainted, what should I call you?” An opening phrase can help the client begin speaking: «I'm listening» or «What brings you to me?».

The psychologist needs to monitor the adequacy of their vocabulary and the non-judgmental nature of their phrases. The pace of the dialogue, the tone of voice, and the correspondence of facial expressions, gestures, and posture to the particulars of the counseling situation also play a role (see Document 11: «Forms of Speech Etiquette»).

Counseling– is a specially organized process of communication aimed at creating psychologically favorable conditions for the client to solve their problem. That is, it is not a spontaneous process, and its organization begins with setting the goals and objectives that must be achieved. To do this, the counselor needs to clarify the content of the client's request, its realism, and accordingly determine their own professional capacity to assist in solving the client's problem.

It is important to find out whether the client came on their own or was referred by someone (parents, relatives, etc.), which requires additional effort from the counselor to create the necessary motivation and to determine the appropriateness of further meetings.

Not every person who turns to a psychologist for help has a clear idea of what kind of help they actually need. Sometimes clients' expectations are inadequate or do not correspond to the reality of life (for example, a client may ask that something be done so that one person falls in love with another, or demand that the psychologist influence someone in one way or another). Some understand counseling as a form of magical assistance. In such cases, the client needs to have explained to them what psychological help can actually consist of. For example, one can say that the process of specialized communication, a conversation with the counselor, can help a person see their own situation from the outside, from a different point of view, relate to it differently, and, if necessary, decide on possible changes to their behavior.

+Concluding a social contract. If the client's request is adequate and corresponds to the counselor's professional capabilities, a so-called «social contract»²⁵ is concluded. The concept of the social contract was introduced by the American psychologist Eric Berne. The social contract involves an agreement between the counselor and the client on what tasks they will address in the counseling process and how responsibility for solving them will be distributed between the counselor and the client. This contract can bring clarity regarding the degree of involvement of the counselor and client in the counseling interaction process, the possible number of meetings, the duration of individual sessions (meetings), etc. Such a form of agreement will contribute to a more effective regulation of the counseling process.

However, it is better not to use the word «contract» itself in conversation with the client, since it may evoke a number of unnecessary and unpleasant associations. For example, you could say the following to the client: «Let's agree on what we will be working on together, and how our sessions will proceed…»²⁶.