Teenage problems

Adults tend, looking back at their youth, to remember only joys and forget about troubles. They have forgotten what it is like when there is no one to invite for a meeting on Saturday evening or when you are generally rejected by the women's society. Of course, what to them before that, if they have such adult problems: payment on mortgages, maintenance of a family, quarrels over money for your studies in college, your own difficulties are secondary for them. These are ADOLESCENT problems, unreal problems.
For example: my parents once bought me a pair of white boots from elk leather (ironically, it was this type of shoe that Pat Boone popularized in the fifties) and demanded that I go to school for them. “Ugly” is still the softest epithet applied to shoes that look like two white Volkswagen. However, the "Volkswagen" - this is also a weak comparison. And now note that it was the seventieth year, and as one person wore faded jeans and sneakers. I already had enough problems in relations with the guys, and if I appeared in these shoes in the classroom, I would face a complete obstruction. A curse. And, perhaps, the eternal excommunication. "Mr. Snyder, you are sentenced to a cruel and shameful death for an unforgivable crime against fashion ..."

In truth, although these white shoes were really outstanding, my peers spent too much time checking their reflections in the windows of school windows to notice anyone else. They sought to mingle with the crowd of their own kind as violently as I did. But when I looked down, I saw two white dreadnought sending neon arrows around it. The rest should have noticed it too. And if they did not laugh in the face, then only because, I thought, they simply tried to behave decently.

I cried, fought hysterically, begging my parents not to let me wear these shoes. You think, seeing to what extent I am upset, they surrendered? Nothing like this! At first they laughed. (Aggravating the situation with a statement: “But Pat Boone wore such shoes!” Woo!) Then they shouted at me. Well, of course: my problem was not a “real” problem, I was just “fooling around”.

But what a real problem this was for me - I earned money, cutting neighborhood lawns and carrying newspapers, went to a local shoe store and bought myself a pair of hippie sneakers. And all the next six months, I still left the house in the dark white shoes, rode with the first school bus, sneaked to my locker in the locker room and changed into new sneakers. After class, I waited until the lobby was empty, changed into white monsters, and went home with the latest bus. This was the real problem for me at the age of fourteen and the problem of ugly shoes that had gone out of fashion. Incredibly real. Seriously present. The most genuine of these. And since I almost did not wear these damn shoes, I could not tear them down. Parents were so shocked by the durability of shoes that they were going to buy these for the whole family. Fortunately, then they abandoned the idea.

Everything is relative, is not it? Of course, the fact that your father was kicked out of work is a much more serious problem than the fact that you did not get into the school tennis team. But parents are armed with adaptation mechanisms that come with years and experience. In most cases, they are better prepared to cope with their crises. It seems to you that you are the ones who are forced to solve each of the problems first, and you are afraid that you will not be able to find the answer.

I think you recognize yourself in many of my memories. But these memories and reflections are not only for losers, for those who are thrown into dust, for the oppressed masses who are eager for freedom - they are for all who want to better understand themselves, their parents, friends and the future.
This understanding is important not only for a teenager, it will be just as valuable when you enter adulthood and meet with many similar situations and people. I do not want to make you sad, but our whole life is a school. You will learn that work is very similar to school, only now the boss plays the role of a teacher. And, as in school, you will meet with people belonging to different types: leaders, led, stupid, dudes and fashionista, bore. The only difference is that, as an adult, you will be a little more free, and I hope you will become better aware of what you are and what you need from life.

The question is: what if parents stumble upon these my notes, putting things in order in your room?
First, they may start locking their bedroom door for the night.
Secondly, they, maybe, will increase the sum allocated to you for pocket expenses. And they, certainly, will cease to stick their noses into your room and keep saying that you will quickly dismantle all your rubble. Giving you a report that I, um, have a weird appearance, and the music that my band plays is also quite wild for the parent's taste, I can see how they gather somewhere in the corner - and in a low voice: “This Dee Snyder wrote a book against his parents! This is an undermining of power! “In the Teenage Survival Course, I’m sometimes really too strict about parents. Since I am a father myself, I understand their problems, but, on the other hand, I understand that parents also owed their children love, understanding and responsible behavior. Yes, I am undermining power, but for me “power” is someone or something that limits a person, hinders the development of a person, prevents him from treating himself with respect. Such a “power” can be adults, but quite often such a “power” turns out to be the same age as you.