18. INFLUENCE OF FAMILY AND EDUCATION ON THE FORMATION OF PERSONALITY

Family education , as the main function of the family in relation to the child, is a system that forms and inculcates the normative, ethical, moral, and mental base of the child being raised.

The family in the initial stages of the child’s life acts as the dominant structure, affecting all the life and development of the child. It performs the following tasks:

1) creating conditions for optimal growth and development of the child;

2) protection of the child from socio-economic, psychological, aggressive and physical factors;

3) an intuitive training for creating a family, preserving its well-being, proper attitude towards elders and raising children through the example of the already existing order of the given family;

4) fostering self-esteem, self-sufficiency, self-esteem.

Family education itself is also a complex system and has the following principles:

1) the child must be involved in the functioning and routine of the family as its equal member;

2) education should be carried out reasonably and humanely in a trusting environment;

3) the principles of education should not contradict each other (even if the principles are expressed by its different members);

4) in the process of upbringing, every family member of the child should be assisted in the necessary issues.

5) to treat a child as a person with an unsettled personal system of norms and orders, not to demand the impossible from him, in every way to protect his peace, creating a healthy and calm atmosphere within the family.

In family education, in addition to principles, methods are distinguished. In the first place - a personal example. In addition to the example, the methods include trust, love, mission, tradition, control, humor, praise, sympathy, discussion, empathy, etc.

The family provides education and develops in the child the mental, physical, moral, moral, ethical aspects of the personality.

It is unacceptable to use physical punishment as an educational measure. The use of force leads to the development of psychological, physical, moral complexes and injuries in the child, which can lead to complication of the child’s communication with both punishing parents and other people. A child may become withdrawn, sharp, distrustful. This phenomenon stands out in a separate phenomenon called the syndrome of dangerous treatment of children .

In psychology, several types of families are traditionally distinguished:

1) a prosperous family;

2) a decaying family;

3) a broken family;

4) conflict family;

5) the family is incomplete.

A prosperous family is a family that implements hyper-care. Children in such families, as a rule, are fastidious, capricious, infantile, poorly assimilating everyday principles.

A decaying family is also characterized by hyperthyroidism. This breeds neglect; do not form social skills in children. From these children grow up parasite.

A broken family is characterized by emotional rejection (educated like Cinderella.) The child does not like or does not show feelings towards him. Children become obsessive, some children become angry, they take revenge on adults. Such children go to the world of fairy-tale fantasies, in which they are surrounded by love.

Conflict family is characterized by controversial education. Children become two-faced, take the side of the parent whose point of view is beneficial for them to support, and, ultimately, acquire neurosis.

An incomplete family is characterized by dry and strict upbringing. Children become obsessive and hard.

Any conflict in the family, not to mention its deformation, adversely affects the psyche of the child. There are two types of family deformation: structural and psychological .

Structural deformation is a violation of the integrity of the family, fragmentation and separation caused by the death of one of the parents, leaving the home of one of the family members, divorce of parents, etc.

Psychological deformation - a violation of the integrity of the system of values, the presence of non-regulatory attitudes, lack of understanding of each other by family members, may be caused by a family member's addiction to drugs or alcohol, joining a religious sect, declaring a boycott by parents to each other, etc.

The influence of the mother on the development of the child is fundamental. The following types of mothers are distinguished:

1) Mother "The Snow Queen" - a cold mother, impregnable, commanding, adamant;

2) “ NCO Prishibeev” - mother, constantly punishing, rude, often resorting to physical punishment;

3) mother “hen” - custodian;

4) Mother “Tsarevna Nesmeyana” - mother of principle, loving to read notations, always worried and ironic about something;

5) “a fussy mother” - a flimsy mother who makes an elephant out of a fly, neurotic;

6) mother- “eternal child” - constantly dramatizes the situation, not independent, touchy. Gives his child to bail stronger, anyone who is willing to take responsibility.

In psychology, there are five styles of education:

1) authoritarian - complete suppression of the will of the child, complete control of his actions by the parents, restriction of independence, the use of physical punishment. In such a family, a child can grow up morally depressed, inactive, relying on others in everything. In the case when a child tries to resist such a style of upbringing, he leaves the house early, ceases to maintain relations with the family, is completely independent of them;

2) democratic - parents support any initiative of the child (within reasonable limits), he is provided with all possible help. The child acts as a full-fledged family member, however, in turn, he is required to be responsible for his actions, discipline, obedience;

3) permissive - indulgent attitude to any actions and initiatives of the child. Giving it to yourself. No restrictions. Reluctance to take part in raising a child, support and take care of him, share his experiences with him. The child perceives this attitude as indifference, moves away from his parents, loses respect in him. May be influenced by a stronger person;

4) custodian - the adoption by parents of all decisions for the child, excessive protection and custody. The parents life of the child causes excessive anxiety, they try in every way to protect the child, solving for him all the arising difficulties. In this connection, he grows up helpless, unable to make their own decisions, spoiled, unable to fully communicate with their peers. The sense of egocentrism is strongly developed;

5) chaotic - unpredictability and fragmentation of educational measures. The lack of a single direction, differences in the requirements for the child. In such a family, the child's anxiety, self-doubt, impulsivity increases, self-esteem is underestimated, self-control is sluggish and the sense of responsibility is poorly developed.