8.2. Persuasive Psychology

An important feature of effective communication is the ability to convince people of the need and feasibility of the proposed solutions and actions. Of course, you can rely on the effectiveness of power pressure, but a good communicator is well aware of the futility and inefficiency of such tactics.

The science of convincing since ancient times attached great importance. Eastern sages stressed that the truth lies not on the lips of the speaker, but in the ears of the hearer. And this need to know every leader.

Conviction as a communication mechanism is based on the fact that the speaker, with the help of logical reasoning and facts, seeks to accept his thoughts, finds a point of coincidence of positions and points of view of the interlocutors. Unlike suggestion, it is predominantly intellectual influences and implies the right to disagree. This effect as if removes distrust of information and can lead a partner to come to the same point of view on his own or be ready to change it in the direction of accepting the judgment and arguments of the speaker.

This complex communicative process has a number of psychological features, the main ones of which may well be presented in the form of laws of the psychology of persuasive communication . Consider them.

1. To understand is not to accept.

At first glance, this contradiction is not entirely clear, because when people talk about mutual understanding, they mean exactly this - mutual acceptance of each other’s positions. However, from the point of view of psychology, the tactics of achieving understanding and the tactics of achieving acceptance are different. Understanding involves the choice of means of influence on the conceptual sphere of the psyche, appeal to the information fund of the individual and to its intelligence. Accepting positions sets the task of choosing the means of influence on the motivational sphere of the psyche, turning to the value orientations of a person.

It should be borne in mind that knowledge is a necessary but not always sufficient condition for changing a person’s behavior. therefore, convincing anyone of the correctness of their position, we must strive for the interlocutor to accept your point of view, internally agree with it and make it his own.

2 Proving is not to convince.

Evidence of the position, as well as understanding it - are necessary, but not sufficient conditions for changing the behavior of the communication partner (often there is a situation of a priori rejection, "But I still do not ...").

The main condition for acceptance is that the position does not contradict the principles and beliefs of the morality of the one who should accept it. It seems that this provision does not require special comments.

3 With other things being equal, people more easily accept the position of the person to whom they treat well, and, on the contrary, it is more difficult to accept the position of the person who causes antipathy.

In other words, there is a direct dependence of the adoption of rational values ​​(what they are convinced of) from the adoption of irrational values ​​(personality characteristics of the speaker). Consequently, the adoption or non-acceptance of the interlocutor’s personality itself can both contribute to the adoption of rational information (up to a priori acceptance) and hinder its acceptance (up to a priori aversion).

Taking into account these three laws of persuasive influence makes it possible to simulate its possible variants easily. Let us analyze them (you are in the role of a manager).

- if your idea of ​​an employee does not fit, and if his opinion about you as a person is negative, he is rejected by your position;

- if your idea is suitable for an employee and if his opinion about you is positive, his acceptance of your point of view is guaranteed;

- if your idea fits the employee, but at the same time he is sharply negatively disposed towards you personally - most likely the acceptance of your idea will be blocked (which depends on the degree of expression of the negative attitude on you and on the degree of attractiveness of your idea);

- if your idea is not suitable for an employee, but he is very positive towards you personally (up to “falling in love”) - it is likely that he will look for ways to accept your proposal (which depends on the degree of “falling in love” and on the degree unacceptability of your proposal).

And then it turns out that the convincing effect must simultaneously extend to two spheres of the human psyche:

- on a rational sphere, i.e. argue, prove the expediency of accepting the proposed position, and

- on the irrational sphere (subconscious), forming the attraction, i.e. personally disposing to yourself.

As a result, the following goal of convincing actions emerges:

A) achieve an understanding of the idea;

B) prove its significance;

C) to arrange a partner to yourself.

Each of these links separately is a necessary, but not always sufficient condition for achieving the goal and accepting the proposed position, but all together they constitute a necessary and sufficient condition for the effectiveness of persuasive influence.

This is the strategic basis of the psychology of persuasion. It clearly shows that assertively-agressive communication style, straightforward imposition of own position to a partner is doomed to failure. A person perceives such an impact as an encroachment on his life values, freedom of choice and business interests. It is enough that the relevant information is blocked with little or no analysis.

To achieve success, a well-chosen persuasion strategy requires an adequate psycho-technological arrangement, i.e. in the selection and use of effective psychological techniques and psychotechnique, aimed at both the rational sphere of the interlocutor's psyche, and his subconscious. Considerable experience has been gained in this area and there are a number of interesting techniques. All of them are subordinated to the implementation of the main strategic objectives of persuasive influence:

one) diagnostics of the initial attitudes of the personality;

2) destruction of blocking negative attitudes;

3) designing new desirable installations.

Consider the technology of persuasive influence presented by V.P. Sheinov in the form of 14 basic rules [15].

Rule 1 (Homer rule).

The order of the above arguments affects their persuasiveness. The most convincing is the following order of arguments: strong - medium - one is the strongest.

It follows from this rule that it is better not to operate with weak arguments. Not the number of arguments decides the outcome of the case, but their reliability.

Persuasion is easily drowned in a sea of ​​words. The proverb says: "You said once - I believed, you repeated it - I doubted, you started repeating for the third time - and I understood that you were lying."

The few words, simplicity and clarity of the arguments are the main components of the most important quality in communication - persuasiveness.

It should be borne in mind that the strength or weakness of the argument is a subjective concept, and in solving this problem one should take into account the point of view and interests of the persuaded person.

Rule 2 (Socrates rule).

To get a positive decision on a question that is very important to you, precede it with two or three simple questions, to which the interlocutor will answer “yes” without difficulty.

This ancient communication rule has a purely physiological rationale. Scientists have found that when a person says “no,” adrenaline hormones are coming into his blood, setting him up to fight. Conversely, the word "yes" leads to the release of "pleasure hormones" - endorphins. Having received two or three servings of pleasure hormones in succession, the interlocutor relaxes, sets up sympathetically, it is psychologically easier for him to say “yes” than “no”.

Rule 3 (Pascal rule).

Do not drive the interlocutor into a corner. Give him the opportunity to "save face".

A clue to the practical implementation of this rule are the words of Pascal: "Nothing disarms so much as the conditions of honorable capitulation." After all, often the interlocutor does not agree with us just because consent is somehow associated in his mind with the loss of his dignity. Offer the interlocutor a solution that will help him to get out of his predicament with honor, and this will help him to accept your point of view.

Rule 4

The persuasiveness of the arguments largely depends on the image and status of the persuasive.

High official or social status, outstanding success, education, recognition of others, high personal qualities raise the status of a person, and with it the weight of his arguments.

In fact, this rule is used by those who ask a respected person to “put in a word for themselves” or refer to the opinion of the authority, citing him in support of their arguments.

It should be borne in mind the prevailing social stereotypes of a person’s perception and status. Thus, men, not women, middle-aged people, and not young or old, have a higher status in our society.

Other things being equal, a man of large build is often perceived as more solid, causing greater confidence.

The status of the accuser is perceived as higher than the status of the defendant.

Participation in the conflict lowers the status. They say: he stole something else, or something stolen from him!

P equals 5.

Do not push yourself into a corner, do not lower your status.

Highly reduces the status of uncertain behavior. therefore, unnecessary apologies, pleading tone and any other signs of uncertainty should be avoided (for example, “I'm sorry, didn’t hurt?”, “please, if you have time to listen to me,” “I would like to hear again,” etc.)

Rule 6.

Do not downplay the status and image of the interlocutor.

Any manifestation of disrespect, neglect of the interlocutor diminishes his status and causes a negative reaction. Therefore, a direct, sharp indication of an error or wrongfulness of the interlocutor is perceived by him, as a rule, painfully and provokes a dispute or conflict.

If it is necessary to point out a slip, then it is advisable to do this in a form that is sufficiently benign to the person’s pride. For example, "apparently you do not know certain circumstances ...", "do you not think that we come to the following conclusions, taking into account your considerations and the circumstances of the case ..."

Rule 7.

We treat the arguments of our companion pleasant to us condescendingly, and critically to the arguments of the unpleasant.

The mechanism of action of this rule is the same as that of Socrates: a pleasant conversationalist stimulates the production of pleasure hormones and unwillingness to enter into confrontation. Unpleasant - the opposite.

As you know, a pleasant impression is created by many circumstances: good upbringing, ability to listen, competent speech, appearance, etc.

Curiously, but numerous polls have shown that almost everyone has the same image of a pleasant person. The formula of the desired image is simple: the image of a pleasant person (HRE) = 2D + 2O + U, i.e.

2D - dignity + goodwill;

2O - optimism (positive thinking) + responsibility;

Y - poise (lack of nervousness).

Having a good image, you get big dividends of trust and sympathy from people. Therefore, the image must be taken care of as a clean clothing.

Rule 8.

Wanting to convince the interlocutor, do not start with the moments that divide you, but from what you are in solidarity with.

Even if there was complete disagreement on all issues (which is extremely rare), at least thank you for the fact that the interlocutor clearly stated his position, say that it was interesting for you to get acquainted with his point of view.

It is categorically forbidden to say: "And I have a different opinion on this matter," this phrase breeds people on opposite sides of the barricade called "pride." For by the same token it says: "Now I will prove that I am smarter than you."

Rule 9.

Show empathy.

Empathy (empathy, empathy) helps to better understand the interlocutor, to imagine the course of his thoughts, how to "get into his skin."

Without showing empathy, it is impossible to fulfill a number of rules (Homer, Socrates, Pascal), because they all imply the ability to put oneself in the place of another person, to foresee his reaction.

Rule 10.

Be a good listener.

When analyzing disputes, it turns out that many of them flare up because the disputants talk about different things, but do not understand this.

Therefore, attentive listening is a guarantee of your persuasiveness: you will never convince if you do not understand the way the interlocutor thinks.

Rule 11.

Avoid conflicts.

Conflict genes are words, actions (or inaction) that may lead to conflict. The most conflict-causing manifestations of arrogance, aggression, egoism. According to the law of escalation of conflict situations, they do not go unnoticed; they are met with resistance and even a peace-loving conversation ultimately turns into a fruitless altercation.

Rule 12.

Check whether you understand each other correctly?

Due to the many-valuedness of many words (for example, the word "culture" has up to 500 meanings), disagreement in a dispute may be a pure misunderstanding: "one about Thomas, the other about Yerem." One has only to understand each other correctly in order to come to an agreement.

There are simple ways to check the adequacy of perception: repeat what was said ("In other words, you think ...", "What you have said may mean ..."), ask again ("What do you mean?", "Could you give more detail ...", "Would you like to specify You?").

Rule 13.

Watch for facial expressions, gestures and postures - your own and the other person.

The knowledgeable body language "reads" the interlocutor, receiving additional information and assessing the degree of sincerity.

Control over your gestures and postures helps to strengthen the persuasiveness of words through skillful penetration into the interlocutor's subconscious.

Rule 14

Show that what you offer meets some of the needs of the interlocutor.

The 5 levels of human needs identified by A. Maslow (physiological, safe, socialized, respectful, self-fulfilling) help to determine the source for finding strong arguments. Always the strongest argument is to satisfy at the moment any of the unmet needs.

Thus, the exploitation of human needs for security and safety makes the insurance business one of the most profitable. Advertising specialists claim that fear works without failures on people when it comes to risk and danger. This is the basis of the whole insurance business.

All the considered rules can be divided into three groups:

one) "active" (certainly strengthen the position of persuasive) - 1,2,4,14.

2) “passive” (violating them weakens the process of persuasive influence) - 3,5,6,7-13.

3) "active-passive" (both active and passive at the same time) - 7-10.

Long-term practice in applying these rules has shown that the following technology usually leads to a successful outcome:

one) do not break any of the "passive" rules;

2) apply 2-3 active rules.

The application of the rules greatly enhances the ability of the persuader However, within reason, naturally. If the question is in principle unsolvable, then there is nothing to break spears. However, in the case of unsolvability of the problem, these rules can help. So, rule 9 helps to determine the limits of solvability - the unsolvability of a question, because it offers the opportunity to put myself in the place of another person and ask myself: would I agree with the offer? Very often, this approach allows to replace one goal of persuasion with another, really achievable.

Of course, the listed rules do not exhaust the arsenal of means and methods of persuasion. But those that are named constitute a necessary basis, based on which everyone can achieve success by convincing others.

It should be added that the mechanical, thoughtless use of these rules is contraindicated. Peter the Great warned one of his famous decrees: “Do not hold on to the regulations of the aki walls. In each case, you need to attach your head”.

You should always consider the need to ensure the basic conditions for the effectiveness of the persuasive effect on people, such as taking into account their individual and age characteristics, activity and emotionality, inner conviction and predisposition, general preparedness, possession of the technique of argumentation, etc.

The process of subconscious coding of information deserves special attention, i.e. taking into account the important fact that the effectiveness of communication is provided by the impact not only on the actual consciousness, but also on our subconscious. If a person is likened to a computer, the consciousness is his screen, and the subconscious is a hard disk, as a keyboard, i.e. input devices, are our senses. The hard drive - our subconscious - is a repository of a huge stock of various information, and the mind (screen) reflects and selects incoming information, and is only capable of sequential processing of information, concentrating only on one element at a time.

Therefore, with any orders, requests, commands, orders, etc. it is necessary to use positive formulations, focusing on the final result.

Here is a simple test that can be easily performed in almost any setting. Have someone present stand up. Then say: "Do not stand, please." You will see that before a person sits down, it will take several seconds. Then repeat your request, paraphrasing it: "Sit down, please." The man will perform it instantly.

The reason for the difference in the speed of execution is actually the same request is simple. To take the phrase “Do not stand” as a guide to action, you must first figure out what it means to “stand.” Therefore, it is better to immediately offer "Sit down!".

That is why young children often begin to do exactly what they were forbidden, because their brain does not have time to process negative information in a timely manner. For example, a kid climbs a tree and hears parents shout, "Don't fall!" How is he aware of this warning? First you have to think about falling!

Trying to convince someone of the need to perform certain actions or make a decision, we must be aware of the effect that the formulation of our thoughts produces. Only positive formulations are effective, because they significantly increase our chances of getting agreement, because sent to the goal directly, and not bypassing the particle "NOT".

Между тем, очень многие команды себе и окружающим мы отдаем по принципу "Не думай об обезьяне". Понятно, что на самом деле такой призыв является командой думать о ней. Ведь чтобы понять смысл предложения "Не думай об обезьяне", нужно расшифровать слова - символы, представив их конкретными образами, т.е. сделать как раз то, что запрещено: подумать об обезьяне. Приказания "Не веди себя скованно" сковывают человека, предупреждение "Вы только не волнуйтесь пожалуйста" заставляет нас нервничать в ожидании плохого известия и т.д.

That is why allowing (but not to be confused with permissiveness!) Teams, as opposed to negative ones, are a powerful factor in achieving positive results. Successful people - those who were allowed (and they allowed themselves) to be successful, allowed to be beautiful, allowed to think, be independent, etc.

Так, если вы не хотите, чтобы вас соединили с нужным человеком, начните телефонный разговор с его секретаршей с фразы "Не могли бы вы соединить меня …?", если хотите, чтобы ваш ребенок не делал чего-то, лучший способ потерпеть фиаско - сказать ему "Не делай этого". Ибо программировать человека можно только позитивно, разрешая, а не запрещая . Ведь доступ к словам мы в обоих случаях получаем одинаковый, представляя себе одно и тоже действие, а не два разных, т.е. "не падай" = "падай". Иначе говоря, если вы хотите, чтобы человек не смотрел вниз, ему нужно сказать: "Смотри вверх!".

Огромную роль в убеждающем воздействии на человека играет использование его подсознания. Рассматривая его как базу данных (при аналогии человеческого мозга с компьютером), мы должны умело извлекать необходимую информацию, добиваясь в конечном счете формирования нужной нам психологической установки и реакции. Подобно щелчкам "мыши", открывающей нужные файлы, продуманно структурированные вопросы и удачная словесная аранжировка подсознательно кодируют человека на навязываемые ему решения и действия. Подсознание можно уподобить мастерской, где находятся не только станки, но и рабочие. Важно научиться руководить этим чудесным предприятием, и необходимой основой для этого является обстановка дружелюбия, гармонии и доверия. Ведь убеждать означает влиять. Однако влиять можно только на того, кто готов позволить "влить" в себя, кто открыт, кто прислушивается, кто внимателен. Поэтому агрессивность является величайшим врагом искусства убеждения, она побуждает замкнуться в себе и ожесточиться. Если вы хотите кого-нибудь убедить, то вас должны воспринимать как приятного располагающего к себе человека. ведь правильно подмечено: "Из закрытой бутылки не налить в перевернутый стакан", _ и только позитивное мышление и взаимная открытость делают процесс общения по-настоящему эффективным.