Lecture
Practical Class 1
“Constructive ways of resisting attack and manipulation (psychological self-defence techniques)”
Task 1. Using the clarification technique
Instructions. In the clarification technique it is important genuinely to try to clarify the attacker's position, rather than responding with a counter-attack. One student is chosen as the “attacker” and several others as the targets of the attack. The attack should be light-hearted, funny or absurd, and should concern only the most superficial features of appearance – the colour of one's shoes, the shape of one's collar, the thickness of one's sweater, and so on. For example: “How could you come to class in such a thick sweater? That's disrespectful towards those who came in a suit.”
If the target of the influence gives a response that amounts to a counter-attack (for example: What business is it of yours what sweater I have on?), or a response that belittles their own personality (for example: It's what I've got, so it's what I wear), the group's attention is drawn to this. All the responses are discussed.
N o t e. A response using the clarification technique sounds like this: “How, while wearing a sweater, could I still show respect to those who came in a suit?”
Task 2. Using the technique of outward agreement
Instructions.The students are assigned the roles of attackers and targets. The initiators of the attack address the targets with absurd statements and questions, and the targets need to agree with them. One must try to find something to agree with. For example, one can agree with some part of the partner's statement, or with the idea that what they drew attention to is indeed important, is of interest, gives food for thought, contains a valuable rational kernel, enriches our view of the problem, or even corresponds to the truth.
EXAMPLE
M.Isn't it wonderful that Katya has such a lovely emerald-green suit (in fact Katya's suit is crimson)?
A. I love emerald green too.
N o t e. Using this technique leads to the discovery that, in response to an attack, one need not fight but can instead reflect together with the attacker.
Task 3. Using the broken-record technique
Instructions. Now the attacker will approach someone with indignation, and the target's task is to find a suitable phrase that can be repeated several times without losing the thread of the conversation.
EXAMPLE.
M.You had absolutely no business ordering someone from my department to be taken for preparing this presentation!
A.This won't happen again.
M.I needed her myself today, do you understand?
A.This won't happen again.
M.And anyway, why do you think you can go over my head and order my staff around?
A.This won't happen again.
N o t e. The exercise concludes with a discussion of the possibilities and limitations of this technique. Its main limitation is the difficulty of finding a suitable phrase.
Task 4. Using the English-professor technique
Instructions. Now the attacker will approach one of the students in the group, and the target's task will be to respond using the English-professor technique. It is very important to give a response that is genuinely “English,” that is, polite, perhaps with a touch of humour, but unshakeably firm.
EXAMPLE
M.Why don't you get a haircut?
A.That's my image.
N o t e. The group's attention should be drawn to the fact that responses such as “It's part of my head!” (menacingly) or “I'm not a poster boy for shampoo adverts” count as counter-attacks.
Task “Distinguishing responses in the information-dialogue technique”
Instructions. Read the task carefully. Choose the response that seems to you the most constructive for an information dialogue.
P o s s i b l e t e c h n i q u e s:
Question on the substance of the matter
Question to clarify the manipulator's aims
Response
Response + Question on the substance of the matter
Response + Question to clarify aims
Statement
Proposal on the substance of the matter
Proposal on choice of discussion topic
Refusal
Postponing the response
Indicate which of the 8 possible intonations is the most suitable for this response.
Possible intonations:
thoughtful 5) warm
cheerful 6) sad
assertive 7) calm
cold 8) sarcastic
Situation 1
Manipulator. How can we possibly discuss your involvement in this work if you don't
know such basic things?!
The target genuinely does not know some technical details of the
work.
The most constructive response:
1) Yes, I do need to know this. How could I get a
technical description of the work?
2) No, actually I knew all this…but I forgot
3) Why did you decide that I ought to know this?
4) And I'm not supposed to know this.
Situation 2
Manipulator. Do you think you chose the best of all the candidates for these
positions?
The target believes he did choose the genuinely best of the available
candidates, but that the advertising was not active enough, and so
a real competition never came about.
The most constructive response:
1) And you don't think so?
2) Do you have any specific complaints about any of
them?
3) Yes, of the candidates we had, I chose the best?
4) Do you think our advertising could have attracted more
highly qualified candidates?
Situation 3
Manipulator. I think you understand everything without any explanations.
The target does not yet understand everything and needs explanations.
The most constructive response:
1) Please give me explanations on the following points…
2) Is it even possible to understand anything here?
3) Yes, of course, everything is clear…
4) Don't worry, if I need your explanations, I'll come
and ask for them…
Situation 4
Manipulator. I know you don't trust anyone around here…
The target does not fully trust the manipulator.
The most constructive response:
1) Whatever gave you that idea! I do trust…
2) Yes, I'm a doubting Thomas.
3) It's you who doesn't trust anyone.
4) Well, between you and me there's complete trust.
Situation 5
Manipulator. I've already answered this question, didn't you hear?
The target genuinely did not hear any answer.
The most constructive response:
1) Did you already answer, then?
2) Why did you decide that I didn't hear it?
3) Oh, right, indeed, sorry…
4) I'm sorry, I'm not sure I heard the answer to this question. So what
is your answer?
Situation 6
Manipulator. In my opinion, one shouldn't talk in the office as loudly as you are
doing.
The target realised that he had raised his voice somewhat.
The most constructive response:
1) Maybe it would be better not to talk at all?
2) Why do you get so angry right away?
3) Yes, agreed. Sorry if I've interrupted.
4) Why do you think it's all right to make such remarks to me?
Situation 7
Manipulator. Yes, it's hard dealing with you. Why are you always so uncompromising?!
The point under discussion matters to the target, and he is confident that his own proposal is the
optimal one.
The most constructive response:
1) When was I ever uncompromising?
2) Come now! I'm very easy to negotiate with!
3) That remains to be seen – which of us is the uncompromising one!
4) I suggest we analyse our disagreements once more.
Situation 8
Manipulator. Have you introduced yourself to the new boss yet? You never miss things like
that…
The target was in fact among the first to introduce himself to the new manager.
The most constructive response:
1) What is it I never miss?
2) Do you miss things, then?
3) What are you actually trying to say?
4) You shouldn't keep trying to catch me out.
In choosing the correct responses, students explain their reasoning. The reasons the other response options are ineffective are then analysed.
Task 1. Using constructive-criticism techniques
Instructions. Pair up. Tell each other about situations in which you were unable to withstand the pressure of a manipulator or an attacker. Then choose one of the situations and use it to demonstrate the use of constructive-criticism techniques (expressing doubt about the appropriateness of an action, or citing a past incident). In doing so, the person to whom the situation “belongs” plays the role of the attacker.
The situations are acted out in the group and discussed.
Task 2. Using civilised-confrontation techniques
Instructions. Choose one student to play the role of the manipulator and another to play the person resisting. They will be the participants in a situation using the confrontation technique. The remaining students are divided into 5 subgroups. Each subgroup is responsible for a particular stage of the confrontation and works out possible wordings for it. The first subgroup is responsible for the I-message phase, the second for the phase of reinforcing the I-message, the third for the proposal phase, the fourth for imposing sanctions, and the fifth for carrying out the sanctions. While the situation is being acted out, the subgroups' task is to remind the person resisting that it is time to move on to the next phase and, if that person has trouble finding the words, to prompt them with a suitable phrase.
EXAMPLE
A subordinate has received an urgent task from his boss, which he is supposed to complete within 10 minutes. Five minutes later the boss comes in to check whether the task is being done, since he suspects it is not. The subordinate has manipulated the boss before. It turns out that the task has been set aside, and this time too the subordinate is busy with his own affairs.
The final stage of the exercise is a discussion of the participants' behaviour in the dialogue and the effectiveness of the subgroups' work.
What are the basic conditions for constructively resisting influence?
What role does awareness of one's own emotions play in resisting unwanted influence?
Which psychological self-defence techniques do you consider most effective for yourself? Why?
How does constructive criticism differ from destructive criticism? What are its functions?
Give examples of the use of constructive-criticism techniques.
What reasons should prompt a person to use the most powerful means of resisting negative influence – confrontation?
What is the behavioural algorithm for civilised confrontation?
What consequences of confrontation should a person who has decided to use it keep in mind?
What additional self-regulation techniques do you use as ways of resisting other people's influence?
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