Assertiveness and the Self-Confidence Test (the Rathus Assertiveness Schedule)

Assertiveness (from Eng. assertiveness < Eng. to assert — to affirm, to insist < Lat. assertus < Lat. asserere — to affirm) — according to the American psychotherapist Manuel Smith (Manuel J. Smith) — a person's ability to be independent of external influences and evaluations, to regulate their own behaviour independently and to be responsible for it.

In everyday life, the behavioural pattern of most people tends toward one of two extremes: passivity or aggression. In the first case, a person who voluntarily takes on the role of a victim is driven by self-doubt, fear in the face of change, or, conversely, fear of losing what has already been achieved. In the second — an open or veiled desire to manipulate others, subordinating them to one's own interests. The aggressor is guided by the principle «you owe me because I am stronger», the victim — «you owe me because I am weak, and the weak must be supported». Unlike these two common types of communication, assertive behaviour (assertiveness) relies on a fundamentally different principle: «I owe you nothing, and you owe me nothing, we are partners».

Principles of assertive behaviour

• Taking responsibility for one's own behaviour. At its core, assertiveness is a philosophy of personal responsibility. That is, we are responsible for our own behaviour and have no right to blame other people for our reaction to their behaviour.
• Demonstrating self-respect and respect for others. A key component of assertiveness is having self-respect and respect for other people. If you do not respect yourself, no one will respect you.
• Effective communication. In this case, the three main qualities are honesty, openness and directness in conversation, but not at the expense of the other person's emotional state. This is about the ability to say what you think or feel about an issue without upsetting your communication partner in the process.
• Demonstrating confidence and a positive attitude. Assertive behaviour involves developing confidence and a positive attitude. Self-confidence is linked to two factors: self-respect and knowing that we are professionals who are skilled at our craft.
• The ability to listen attentively and understand. Assertiveness requires the ability to listen attentively and a desire to understand another person's point of view. We all consider ourselves good listeners, but the question arises: how often, while listening to another person, do we shift from facts to assumptions, and how often do we interrupt others in order to state our own point of view more quickly?
• Negotiation and reaching a working compromise. Striving to reach a working compromise is a very useful quality. Sometimes there is a need to find a way out of a situation that would suit all the parties involved.

You also have the right to:

• express feelings;
• express opinions and beliefs;
• say «yes» or «no»;
• change your mind;
• say «I don't understand»;
• be yourself and not adapt to others;
• not take on someone else's responsibility;
• ask for something;
• set your own priorities;
• expect to be listened to and taken seriously;
• make mistakes;
• be illogical when making decisions;
• say «it doesn't matter to me».

Beliefs that hinder the development of assertive behaviour in a person.

Manuel Smith developed a model of assertive (self-affirming) behaviour. Below are the assertive rights, as well as the manipulative biases which, according to the authors of the concept of assertiveness, block these rights:

1. I have the right to judge my own behaviour, thoughts and emotions, and to be responsible for their consequences. Manipulative bias: I should not judge myself and my behaviour independently and without regard for others. In reality, it is not I but someone wiser and more authoritative who should always evaluate and discuss my personality.
2. I have the right not to apologize for or explain my behaviour. Manipulative bias: I am answerable for my behaviour to other people, and it is desirable that I report to them and explain everything I do, apologizing to them for my actions.
3. I have the right to decide for myself whether, and to what extent, I am responsible for solving other people's problems. Manipulative bias: I have more obligations toward certain institutions and people than to myself. It is desirable to sacrifice my own dignity and adapt.
4. I have the right to change my mind. Manipulative bias: Once I have expressed a certain point of view, I should never change it. I would have to apologize or admit that I was wrong. This would mean that I am not competent and not capable of deciding.
5. I have the right to make mistakes and to be responsible for my mistakes. Manipulative bias: I am not supposed to make mistakes, and if I make a mistake, I should feel guilty. It is desirable that I and my decisions be controlled.
6. I have the right to say: «I don't know». Manipulative bias: It is desirable that I be able to answer any question.
7. I have the right to be independent of the goodwill of others and of their good attitude toward me. Manipulative bias: It is desirable that people have a good attitude toward me, that I be loved, that I need them.
8. I have the right to make illogical decisions. Manipulative bias: It is desirable that I observe logic, reason, rationality and soundness in everything I do. Only what is logical is reasonable.
9. I have the right to say: «I don't understand you». Manipulative bias: I must be attentive and sensitive to the needs of others, I must «read their minds». If I fail to do this, I am a merciless ignoramus and no one will love me.
10. I have the right to say: «I'm not interested». Manipulative bias: I must try to be attentive and emotionally engaged with everything that happens in the world. I probably won't succeed, but I must try to achieve it with all my strength. Otherwise, I am callous and indifferent.

Criticism

Criticism of assertiveness rights lies in pointing out the illegitimacy of describing a person's rights through a certain number of theses, and the impossibility of a person existing without regard for public opinion . Social psychology theory demonstrates a way of inducing emotional dependence on a guru through the profanation of the philosophical (personal-worldview) question of rights and obligations, coupled with motivation to abandon personal reasoning

Sergey Stepanov, in his book «Myths and Dead Ends of Pop Psychology», devoted a chapter to criticizing Manuel Smith's model.

…The quintessence of this approach is the so-called «assertive rights of the person» […] In essence, this code of rights, which forms the key provisions of any assertiveness training, is a set of new, assertive attitudes proposed for adoption in place of the old, supposedly unfit ones. […] At first glance, the positive orientation of these principles toward freeing a person from alien attitudes imposed by self-serving manipulators, from false authorities, meaningless rituals and burdensome conventions is appealing. On the other hand, one cannot help but be wary of the artlessly American preaching of individualism, which, if taken literally, risks leading to unfortunate consequences. Indeed, if these remarkable rights are formulated more specifically and taken to their logical conclusion, they easily take on roughly the following form.

1. No one's opinion of me and my behaviour matters as much to me as my own. No one's opinion should shake my self-esteem. In other words, one can simply disregard the opinions of others. If I like to pick my nose and blow it into the curtains, and other people condemn this, then I, of course, am right, not they. And I am entitled to do this without feeling the slightest awkwardness.
2. Since I know what I am doing myself, there is no need for others to understand my behaviour, let alone approve of it. I act correctly by definition.
3. If it is more convenient for me to believe that no one's problems concern me, I can, with a light heart, not give a damn about anyone or anything.
4. Firm convictions and unshakable principles are a sign of rigidity. On the contrary, it is perfectly normal to praise today what you criticized yesterday, and vice versa.
5. There is no need to be afraid of mistakes. There is nothing terrible about mistakenly sentencing an innocent person to death, or, say, with a clumsy push of a button, aiming an anti-aircraft missile at a passenger plane. As one wise leader of one freedom-loving nation used to say: «There's no need to make a tragedy out of this»
6. A wonderful excuse for one's own ignorance is the magic formula «I don't know». Well, I don't know, and no one can hold me accountable! And if, say, some picky examiner is not satisfied with that, then he is simply an unscrupulous manipulator and aggressor.
7. There is no need whatsoever to earn the favour of other people. What is it needed for at all, if I decide everything in my life myself?
8. In one's behaviour, one can abandon common sense and elementary logic and follow one's mood exclusively.
9. The desire to understand another person is a completely unnecessary and futile effort. It is much simpler to cut it short: «I don't understand you!»
10. On any subject that does not affect my personal interests, I am entitled to spit from a great height and declare this publicly.

Now be honest with yourself: how would you feel about a person professing such life principles, should you happen to cross paths with them (especially since you probably already have, more than once)? And would you really want to become like that yourself?

— Stepanov S.S. Myths and Dead Ends of Pop Psychology. — Moscow: EKSMO, 2012.

Rathus Assertiveness Schedule

A psychodiagnostic technique that assesses the degree of self-confidence. It is designed for people aged 18 and over, with no restrictions based on education, social status or occupation.

The test contains 30 statements describing various types of behaviour. You need to indicate your degree of agreement or disagreement with each of the statements given:
— «very characteristic of me, the description is very true»,
— «fairly characteristic of me — more yes than no»,
— «partly characteristic, partly not characteristic»,
— «fairly not characteristic of me — more no than yes»,
— «not at all characteristic of me, the description is not true».

The test offers 30 statements describing various types of behaviour. Try these statements on yourself and indicate your degree of agreement.

Let's sum up:

1. Find the sum of points for questions not marked with an asterisk (numbers 3, 6, 7, 8, 10, 18, 20, 21, 22, 25, 27, 28, 29).

2. Find the sum for the questions marked with an asterisk (numbers 1, 2, 4, 5, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 19, 23, 24, 26, 30).

3. Add the number 72 to the first sum and subtract the second sum.

Summarizing the results:

Applications

Several studies have found that assertiveness training is a useful tool in the prevention of alcohol use disorders. Psychological skills in general, including self-confidence and social skills, have been proposed as an intervention for various disorders, with some empirical support.

In connection with gender theory « Tannen argues that both men and women would benefit from learning to use the other's style ... Thus, women would benefit from assertiveness training, and men from sensitivity training».

See also

• Psychological manipulation
• Social Darwinism
• Assertiveness - definition and elements
• Relationship issues: assertiveness
• Confidence and assertiveness training
• Assertiveness training modules